So, we are working on becoming an actual farm. In that quest we have acquired, the Ambassadors of Scratch

Because a farm implies more than a few chickens, I have added some crops and now, Landscape Specialists!! As I said before, calling yourself a farm because you have a few vegetable plants seems fake, like imitation crab meat. I refuse to be imitation crab meat! Some of the fences need repair so we aren’t ready for large animals like horses or cows yet, so… goats!!! I have some horse experience but I don’t know anything about goats! Because of this, I bought two. I read that they are herd animals and having just one is not good for their mental health. Im all about protecting your mental health so I’m ok with that. As the old Schoolhouse Rock song stated, ‘Three is a magic number’ and that’s better for goats, but I’m not ready for that yet. I began to research the needs of goats..

When I decided to buy goats, I had no idea where to find them. I found an ad on Craigslist and was soon texting the owner. I purchased 2 nine week old babies over text and then spent the next week worrying it might have been a scam, because I got them on Craigslist and have seen quite a few crime dramas about that. Like I said, I’m dramatic. I got ready for my goats hoping I wasn’t scammed.

The chicken pen needs some brush removal so this will be the goat’s first job. It also has a coop for them to sleep in at night and a good fencing for them until their pen is ready. The chickens won’t be occupying the space for at least 12 weeks so the landscape department can work on the overgrown foliage. 🙂

Because I don’t have a truck, the SUV has to do double duty as a farm truck sometimes. I bought a huge tarp, put down shavings and set off for the hour and a half trip to meet my new babies. I thought I had it all figured out and, of course, when you think you have it all figured out? Enter that monkey wrench to show you that you aren’t as smart as you thought you were….

I arrive to pick up the goats. Two girls, about 7 and 10, bring them out. We put them in the back and I head out on my way, enjoying the goat noises in the back and imagining how great my life will be with my sweet girls. I start to sing country western songs to them, including, of course, The Judds. I enjoy myself until I look in my mirror and see a tiny black head and hooves peering at me over the back seat. She looks like she’s going to try to jump over. I begin to wonder what will happen if she makes it over and begins to jump all over the back and front seat, also wondering how I will clean up if she decides to have a pit stop on my upholstery?!? Then I hear the, ‘Dumb Ways to Die’ song and decide this is it.

Car crash caused by goat. Stephen King, in one of his books, discusses how many car crashes are caused by insects distracting the driver. This time it will be a Lamancha goat named Naomi. I’m a little dramatic that way and my brains spends some time on this tangent. I ask her to please not jump over. She seems to oblige and her head disappears, I relax and go back to my daydream. A few minutes later I hear a crumple of tarp and see she’s back. I ask her again and she disappears. This goes on a few more times and I finally decided to raise the head rests and move the tarp to completely block the back. We make it safely home. I sing to them the whole way and am rewarded with some goat backup singers. Their timing is a bit off but their enthusiasm makes up for it. I try different songs and genres, but they seem to have the biggest reaction to Sugarland’s, ‘The Incredible Machine’, which really gets them singing along. I think maybe it’s the chorus. When Jennifer Nettles sings ‘CALLING!’, I guess it calls to them and they reply. I love Sugarland so I’m not knocking them, but she does sound a bit ‘goatish’ a few times in that song. Is goatish a word? If not, I made it up and you have to use it in a sentence now

You decide… Link to the song below

As I pull up I realize my husband and son aren’t home and I have to wrangle them into the pen myself. Goat wranglin’! I’ve never done that but both Yeee and Haww. I opened the back passenger door and put the seat down. I expect them to sweetly come over to me. NOPE! They fly into panic and try to get away from me. I was able to get Naomi, the black goat, as Wynonna panics more and races into the back seat. I closed the door quickly and run to put Naomi in the pen before Wynonna could do any damage to my vehicle. I can’t imagine taking the car to the retailer for goat poop! I am able to catch Wynonna. I put them both in. They stare at me for a moment, look around and begin to eat. I take this for a good sign and sit down to watch them.

So I stand in the pen and admire my sweet girls. I realize it’s beginning to get late in the evening and I want to get them in the coop so they will be safe for the night. When I move, they bolt away from me. I have no idea how to catch a goat. So, I start with some communication.

I get a response but no closer to actually catching one. When I move, they run. They get to the coop door but as soon as I move to close it they race out the little opening. I decide that since they can get through the little hole, I’ll have to just shut the big door and leave it alone. If I chase them too much I become a predator to them so I give this round to the goats and go to the house.

As I walk to the house, they come around the side to stare at me, seemingly offended that I left them.

I realize I don’t know how to tame a goat, but I’ll have to learn. I’ll start on that tomorrow….